Often when I speak on trauma and spirituality, I discuss the reality that an organization or congregation is greater than the sum of its parts.  Part of keeping our congregations healthy involves caring for the most vulnerable members.  Sometimes these vulnerable people are easy to identify as individuals or groups (such as children, women, or the elderly), but sometimes people who otherwise appear to be at the peak of their strength are those who are experiencing deep, life changing traumas.  They are hidden among us because their pain is private, but no less in need of healing.
 
One such group near and dear to my heart are the parents of babies who are currently, or have spent time in the past, in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).  This month my family will be celebrating my darling niece’s first birthday.  Marking the birth of a human into the world is always worthy of celebration, but a year ago celebration was not the primary feeling surrounding her birth. My niece arrived ten weeks early after a difficult pregnancy and emergency surgery only to be immediately whisked away from her parents.  The next months were filled with learning, healing, devastating setbacks, and fierce victories.  My niece’s growth and development continue to amaze all of us and while we rejoice in her health now, reminiscing over the last year is a mixed experience.
 
The March of Dimes reports that 1 in 10 babies born in this country spend time in the NICU because of prematurity, infections, injuries, or other unexpected events at birth or in their early days.  Despite excellent care and a positive outcome for many of these babies, 60% of parents who have a child who spends any amount of time in the NICU are at risk for PTSD.  One study by the Duke School of Nursing interviewed thirty mothers whose infants had spent time in the NICU and every single one of them had at least one symptom of PTSD as much as six months later.  I have talked to parents who are still brought to tears decades later as they remember those early days.
 
The care needs of a child in the hospital may be more apparent and they are in the hands of professionals.  So how do we care for the rest of the family?  Those members of the family who are breathing on their own and able to digest food who are sitting next to us as we worship?  The new parents of a NICU baby may look as if they are doing “better” than the new parents rocking their infant in the back because they aren’t covered in spit-up and appear to have gotten more than 45 consecutive minutes of sleep the night before.  But make no mistake, these families have experienced the painful loss of a dream, and many are haunted by the possibility of death for weeks or months on end with no relief.  No matter the reason for, or length of stay in the NICU, a parent’s reaction can range from mild to severe.  Many experience grief, numbness, anger, guilt, shame, disbelief, and intense sadness.
 
These families need a support system that will continue to show up, day after day, for the indefinite future.  They need people around them to be flexible as each day brings with it new information and experiences that may be vastly disparate.  They need the setbacks and disappointments honored and grieved as much as they need the steps forward and milestones celebrated.  These families often suffer in silence because we have few to no social protocols to tell us how to help people in limbo, they need space to give voice to their experience.  Like any trauma, they must be allowed to ask their questions of, and make their petitions to, God without judgment from those around them.
 
NICU families are just one example of the many who may be suffering silently around us.  Others may include those with chronic or terminal illness, substance abuse, those who have experienced severe car accidents, or who are the primary caretakers for anyone with the aforementioned conditions.  As valued members of our communities, these hidden, silent sufferers and survivors need compassion and care for their, and our, well-being to flourish.  May we all have eyes to see and ears to hear.

• Who may be, or is, suffering silently in your congregation or community?
• How can you bridge the awkward social gap and engage in their experience?
• Is their someone in your ministry who can check in six months from now to see to their mental and spiritual health?  A year from now?
• What are the milestones and anniversaries to be honored by community members dealing with experiences like the NICU that are unique to them?  How can the community facilitate and participate in those memorials?

* Would you like more resources on how to assess impacts of stress and trauma and to practice effective care? You can find them at the ICTG online training menu. 

In quick succession our country has cycled through new phenomena like "election trauma" and, now, what some are calling "executive order fatigue." We've been told we should get used to this abrupt shock to the system and that this is what we were promised. 

That may be, but I also have heard from a number of people who voted for President Trump with far different hopes from the current chaos – hopes for betterment like new jobs, better healthcare, and less government oversight. Those people express significant dissatisfaction with the current status. 

Instead, all voters have been discovering the extent to which people in the current administration purposely set out to induce severe stress on American citizens.
 
While such extreme stress is not new, and sadly has happened before in our country and around the world, for a vast majority of citizens it is not acceptable. Thankfully, many people, across faith traditions, professional sectors, socio-economic backgrounds, and political aisles have worked hard and are continuing to work hard to ensure basic civil liberties are upheld throughout American territories. Further, many congregations and faith communities around the country have been sanctuaries to incubate these actions for the health and well-being of our nation.

Clearly, there's a ways to go, though.
 
To better understand the impacts of recent brash actions by national government, not only on refugees and migrants but on civic officials as well, hear the words of Democrat Washington State Governor and multiple Republican Senators.
 
The ongoing severe stress citizens in your community and around our country are experiencing will not dissipate easily, especially without intentional corporate and neighborly care. Toward this relief and to help counter impacts of stress and hate, some faith communities have offered vigils (including Texas, Arkansas, and California, to name a few), created interactive prayer stations of the cross, and made clear statements about how current executive orders are injurious to communities. Practical, embodied care like these acts makes a tremendous difference in lifting spirits and generating collective repair.
 
How is your congregation responding this week? Share what has been most helpful to your community in the comments.

Would you like more resources on how to assess impacts of stress and trauma and to practice effective care? You can find them at the ICTG online training menu. 

Rev. Dr. Kate Wiebe is a pastoral psychotherapist, congregational care consultant, and the Director of the Institute for Congregational Trauma and Growth. 

Recently I was reading a blog on the Education Week Teacher website and was engaged by this statement:

In our fast-paced world, we often don’t “have time” for trouble. When cars break down, appliances quit working, a family member is unhealthy, or we come down with a cold there is little patience left in the reservoir for an attitude of compassion or practical wisdom to respond in a healthy way. The effects of post-trauma don’t always “shout” at others, making it even easier for a stretched teacher, leader, pastor or parent to ignore. If ignoring isn’t an option then blaming becomes the alternative as cited in the statement above.
 
Yet, as we know, trauma is real. Our children and youth experience it in a myriad of ways. It ranges from low-level to high-level and everything in between. We may have no time for trauma, and the effects to come, but trauma doesn’t care. It comes and takes its toll.
 
As caregivers, shepherds, teachers, and leaders of people, we are called to bring peace, comfort, acceptance and love into the lives we touch. This requires an “unflinching awareness” of trauma as an active dynamic in the lives of those we serve. It calls for a sensitivity and awareness of the “new normal” many may be experiencing as they travel the journey after trauma.
 
What are the practical applications for us in embracing this “unflinching awareness?” Here are some ideas:

1. Have margins – It is difficult, if not often impossible, for us to be aware of others’ needs when our own command undue attention. Creating spaces for balance, rest, and calming in the midst of our lives gives us space to take note of the people around us and their presenting behaviors. We are consequently more tuned in to ask important questions and zero in on the root causes of adverse behavior, particularly when it is trauma-based.
2. Don’t be quick to blame – When children or youth act out in disruptive ways the default often goes to impugning them who have willfully and defiantly chosen to behave in this manner. While this could be true, the trauma-sensitive person will take the needed time to discover its accuracy and not impulsively fix the problem.
3. Listen – Awareness mandates listening as the primary tool. Listening requires audible intake, visual observance, and the desire for discernment.
4. Be patient – The process of “unflinching awareness” necessitates accepting the bigger picture. In Episode 10, Season 2 of the television series, “West Wing” a trauma psychiatrist spends time with one of the White House staff who has experienced a shooting. The show displays a process that is painfully slow in getting to the core of the staffer’s experience and treating the real wound. So it is with supposed “bad” behavior. Patience is a virtue.
5. Recycle – Be prepared to do it all again. Steady mindfulness of trauma-based behavior is ongoing. We don’t finish one case and call it a day. More will come. Keep your margins, be slow to blame, listen and love, and be patient.

What other applications would you add? In your desire to take time for trauma, where do you feel strongest? Where do you feel weakest?
 
SOURCE FOR THIS BLOG:
www.edweek.org


* For more information on caring for children and youth after trauma, visit our youth ministry tools and training page.

Doug Ranck is Associate Pastor of Youth and Worship at Free Methodist Church of Santa Barbara, CA.  With three decades of youth ministry experience, he serves as ICTG Program Director for Youth Ministry, as well as a leading consultant, trainer and speaker with Ministry Architects, the Southern California Conference, and, nationally, with the Free Methodist Church. He has written numerous articles for youth ministry magazines and websites, and published the Creative Bible Lessons Series: Job (Zondervan, 2008). Doug is happily married to Nancy, proud father of Kelly, Landon and Elise, and never gets tired of looking at the Pacific ocean every day. 

View all of Doug's blogs here>>

How is your congregation generating goodness in the world today?

A lot of people in the world, and particularly in the United States, feel distraught. They worry about having a job, having a home or shelter, getting a good education, having health care, and being safe – let alone being happy, feeling free, or having wealth to share.
 
We witnessed this weekend how millions of people voted for the current administration and how millions of people marched against the current administration. Interestingly, many congregations today have members from both of these groups. They are struggling to bring reconciliation within their own walls, as well as in their communities. 
 
Loving a neighbor as yourself is a primary commandment. Perhaps what's most striking about the command to love one's neighbor is how it requires crossing so many arbitrary human-made lines . . . lines of faith, economic status, ethnicity, politics, and education. Learning how to love the person most different from you – to provide for them – stretches our capacities greatly. How is your congregation doing that now, in light of so much division? What's working best for you? 
 
As a Christian pastor, I also see how the story of the Good Samaritan inherently is about responding to trauma as well. Being a good neighbor means responding to the wounds my neighbor has with effective care.
 
This weekend, as a country, we were presented with a lot of wounds in front of us. People who voted for the current administration, who have long felt forgotten and ignored. People who voted against the current administration, who have long felt forgotten and ignored and now fear it even more. And people who feel a wide range of other experiences, much of which is based on pain from the past.
 
There are many people hurting. Many who have been hurting for a long time. The State of the Union is beleaguered, at best, and there is a tremendous amount of work to be done to stabilize it.

And, through all the pain expressed this weekend, millions of people witnessed glimmers of hope. Hope in joining together with people of like-mindedness. Hope in hearing a neighbor's story and thinking about their perspective in new light. Hope in deciding to fight for the rights and benefits of a neighbor, more than just one's own. Story after story keeps emerging across the country of a people who seek out liberty and justice for all. 
 
What is your congregation doing to participate in building up your community and the nation? It what ways are you making a difference for greater health and well-being?
 
At ICTG, we’ve found, in part, the work health and well-being gets done most often through individual or small group efforts that add up to great collective movements. They include:

• Being a trustworthy reliable adult for the children and youth in your home, congregation, and community
• Listening to survivors and valuing their accounts
• Upholding and encouraging the use of adequate safety measures and effective resources for healing
• Practicing habits and rituals proven for growth (including healthy diet, exercise, sleep, prayer and meditation, contributing consistently to community, strong work ethic, and being a life-long learner)
• Celebrating with friends, family, and colleagues regularly

When these things are developed, crises, trauma, and disasters are far less likely to occur. When they do occur, groups practicing these things are far more resilient.
 
In the days ahead, may we all work toward building more healthy, vibrant communities. We all know the world could use a lot more them. 

To learn more about ICTG online education for congregation leaders, visit our Training Menu. 

Rev. Dr. Kate Wiebe is a pastoral psychotherapist, congregational care consultant, and serves as the Executive Director of ICTG. 

Throughout my childhood I had a vivid imagination and dream life. Like most kids, I developed the ability to have rich dreams that became increasingly complex. Thankfully, as these dreams increased in their complexity, rarely did they result in nightmares or night terrors. It wasn’t until my late teens that I realized how my subconscious mind through my dreams would solve problems I was presently faced with. If I were wrestling with a decision, it seemed that through an intense dream I’d receive the clarity I needed to make a choice. As a result, I’ve found that when faced with a personal or professional challenge — after sorting through the facts — more often than not, if I give my body and mind permission to rest, the solution will rise to my conscious mind. But, two years ago I stopped dreaming. Actually, I stopped recalling my dreams. Gone were the brilliant colors and picturesque scenes. Instead, I’d awake from hazy images of gray that I could not comprehend. My wild dreams that once served as a welcomed respite were no longer accessible.

Psychologists note that dreams may be repressed due to trauma, stress, or anxiety. And, it seems the sudden loss of my father was the trauma that resulted in my inability to recall my dreams. My bold imagination had shifted dramatically. In truth, trauma may impact our psyche to the extent we experience heightened anxiety, increased irritability, lethargy, or emotional detachment. It can result in weight loss or gain or an increased vulnerability to fear. Trauma is real and its impacts cannot be underestimated. Then, we are challenged to consider how we promote national healing, racial reconciliation, and congregational health in trauma-filled communities. Trauma-filled communities — a designation slowly gaining credence among trauma experts — are communities categorized as having high crime rates and a lack of resources. As a result of deindustrialization, high local unemployment and political disenfranchisement, the landscape decays making life appear lackluster. The sight of trash-scattered sidewalks and abandoned buildings clouds the senses to the possibilities alive around residents. Indeed, dreams may be deferred because of personal, professional, or communal trauma.
           
However, the biblical account of the character Joseph provides comfort for those who have lost the ability to dream or recall their dreams due to trauma. In the story, God dreams a dream in the young man living within a context that is not conducive for dream growth. He’s favored by his father and hated by his brothers. Tested in a context with an uneasy admixture of love and hate, he’s affirmed by the one from whom he came but rejected by his kin. Joseph is favored and hated. But, what God dreams through the favored-hated one is reason enough for us to celebrate. In his dream life he sees himself in a better state of being in comparison to his brothers and parents. Sadly, disgusted and intimidated by the possibility of the reality of his dream, his brothers hate and conspire against him as his father deflates his dreams of grandeur. That God would dream not one, but two dreams in a community that is unable to steward dream development is puzzling to me. Even more, that God would reveal divine plans in a climate where love and hate coexist, admittedly, causes me to question God’s methodologies. What is it about the soil of love and hate that serve as good ground for dream planting? With that, why would vivid imaginations and complex dreams arise within the company of dream snatchers? I contend dream snatchers are people who seek to undervalue the dreams of another person because of their own feelings of insecurity and fear. They are those who dismiss and crush God’s dream through someone else. Indeed, Joseph's family members were dream snatchers.
           
The iconic “I Have a Dream Speech” delivered at the Lincoln Memorial by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., is both poetic and prophetic. Speaking poignantly to the injustices of his day, he grappled with the reality of the Emancipation Proclamation and the contradicting reality of the continued captivity of African-Americans as a result of segregation and discrimination. While the Declaration of Independence guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, it seemed this was only extended to people were not of the African diaspora. It was in the soil of love and hate that God dreamed this dream in Rev. Dr. King Jr.. In other words, while the white majority loved how black mothers and grandmothers cared for their children, cleaned their homes, cooked their meal, and washed their clothes — they nonetheless hated their black skin. The soul in their voice and rhythm in their hips was welcomed entertainment, but the rich texture of black hair and resilience in their eyes was something to tame.
           
Because the soil is still fertile with love and hate, oppression and injustice, God still dreams. Though we live in a present nightmare where George Zimmerman was acquitted in the murder of Trayvon Martin, and there were non-indictments in the deaths of Eric Garner and Tamir Rice, we continue to believe the dream God is dreaming in us. The nightmare began when our ancestors were stripped of their African garments, loaded on ships and packaged like sardines. The nightmare continued as those who survived the voyage across the Atlantic were sold as beasts on auction blocks. White supremacist ideologies want us to forget the atrocities of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. They want us to forget that we are haunted by the ghosts of cotton fields, slave quarters and lynchings. Sadly, this was no dream. Antagonists want us to forget those who were whipped, amputated, boiled in oil, separated and sold across the country. It’s prevailing principalities and powers that tell us to get over these injustices and atrocities. Get over Trayvon Martin, Sean Bell, Amadu Diallo, Mike Brown, and Sandra Bell, they contend.
           
No! We can’t just get over these or any other lives stripped from our communities. For, these lives are buried in the soil of love and hate that give rise to our dreams of equality. Just like Joseph’s brothers who became intimidated by his dream, so has America become fearful of our rallying cry that, “Black Lives Matter.” Met with the rebuttal that all lives matter we’ve had to contend with modern day dream snatchers. As an African-American community we’ve had to steady ourselves in the face of well-intentioned but ignorant people. Yes, all lives do matter, and are created in the image and likeness of God. All lives matter — black, white, Hispanic, and Haitian, married, single, divorced, separated, heterosexual and homosexual, republican and democratic lives all matter. Nonetheless, when we cry “Black Lives Matter” it's not to subjugate any other race, but a reminder to oppressive systems that even if they don’t recognize God’s glory upon us, we do. It's a reminder to the world that we’re fearfully and wonderfully made. As Dr. King shared in this letter from the Birmingham jail, “There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair.” The rallying cry that black lives matter indicates the cup of our endurance has run over and God is dreaming a dream thru Millennials for this present age.
           
The God given dream thru Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is the same dream given to the world today. He or she who has an ear, let them hear what the spirit is saying. For the spirit speaks and dreams of a prison system that does more to rehabilitate inmates than use inmates as cheap labor. The spirit dreams through us of the deconstruction of institutionally oppressive systems that promote social, economic, housing and environmental inequities. As Rev. King said, “It is a historical fact that privileged groups seldom give up their privileges voluntarily. Individuals may see the moral light and voluntary give up their unjust posture; but as Reinhold Niebuhr has reminded us, groups tend to be more immoral than individuals.” Therefore, those living and working in the legacy and spirit of Rev. King must continue to dream and advocate for rights actions and outcomes concerning all citizens. This is the dream God continues to dream through us.