Shepherding the Range of Responses to Adversity in a Congregation

Following 9/11, and many other types of disasters since, I've heard a lot of stories about new relationships. Stories about the marriages that occurred or the babies that were conceived. Stories about how, for the people telling the stories, tragedy helped them to clarify what they wanted in life, what mattered to them, what joy they had right in front of them, or how love helped them feel more grounded amid incredibly destabilizing loss. ​

PHOTO: KFOX14

Of course, I've also heard the stories of how, for others, tragedy wreaks more tragedy. How the overwhelming stress of disaster can lead others to act in abusive ways, ways they thought they had settled in the past, or ways they never before imagined enacting. I've listened to the shame and guilt, and, most of all in these cases, the difficulty in finding the words to acknowledge what unfolded. The way they may have sexually, physically, emotionally, or spiritually harmed people in thier circles of home and work. 

People react differently to stress, to grief, and to loss.

People react differently to stress, to grief, and to loss. For some, proceeding through their emotions and reactions becomes a pilgrimage in discovering more about what is most meaningful to them. For others, experiences of loss, grief, or immense stress feel so alien, they struggle to recognize themselves and, rather than moving toward healing and restoration, their suffering becomes the preoccupation. ​​

Faith leaders hold a quintessential role in shepherding, or hosting spaces for, the wide range of responses to tragedy that may unfold within their congregation.

Faith leaders, especially in the aftermath of great community loss, hold a quintessential role in shepherding, or hosting space(s) for, the wide range of responses to tragedy that may unfold within their congregation. They help the congregation to bear witness, together, to the scope of what has happened – not only the catalyst(s) of heartache, but the range of responses as well. They honor each person's perspective, while helping one another to participate in co-creating senses of belonging.

​Here are some of the ways that happens:

• One type of reaction does not dictate the group's response.
• While all manner of reactions may be understood as "normal" responses to extreme stress, not all reactions of helpful or healthful. Without shaming, space can be created for acknowledging reactions (i.e., through confession, prayer, pastoral counseling) and encouraging healthful practices for managing stress, anger, and impulsivity (including referrals to classes or groups for learning how to manage common strong reactions). Additionally, appropriate boundaries can be created to ensure any potential acts of harm are acknowledged appropriately and managed corporately in ways that ensure the health and safety of everyone involved. 
• Both public and intimate settings are helpful for healing. These may include worship services, "town hall" informational meetings, small group studies or prayer meetings, and practices where individual self-select to participate (such as rooms or outdoor areas set aside for labyrinths, individual prayer or journaling, or stations of the cross, for example.)
• Acts of care are encouraged, both within the congregation and as forms of outreach to the surrounding community. 

Overall, faith leaders guide the congregation in discovering, living out, and recalling the story of who they are before, during, and after tremendous upheaval. 

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Looking for ways to help? 

As more in our communities move to working remotely and practicing social distancing, our online resources are increasingly important for many. You can support these free, online resources by signing up to volunteer with ICTG, or by giving today.

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​Rev. Dr. Kate Wiebe serves as the Executive Director of ICTG. She is an organizational health consultant and pastoral psychotherapist. She lives with her family in Santa Barbara, CA.