Group spiritual direction is a wonderful and unique experience. It is a great opportunity for a number of people to come together and participate in mutual discernment, encouragement, and growth. After a trauma, particularly one that is experienced collectively by a community or congregation, group direction can provide deep healing and a needed sense of unity as those affected come together to process what has happened. Group direction functions somewhat differently than individual direction. A more definite structure is required to help the group maintain focus, to allow time for multiple individuals, and to allow space for prayerfulness and discernment. If the group has come together for the purpose of processing a collective trauma, it will be helpful to have an agreed upon structure for time together to help provide a safe container for the survivors (for example the 4x4x4 method described by Diane Millis). It will also be helpful to name the purpose for which the group is meeting. Is this group meeting in order to debrief what has happened? Meeting to grieve together? To pray for healing and a road forward? Some combination? Being sensitive to both the collective expressions as well as the individual experiences will be necessary. If the group was already established when the traumatic incident occurred, it will be worth discussing whether to change focus for a season (acknowledging that even if the group’s stated purpose does not change, the individual experiences of participants will be brought into sessions). Perhaps what was a formal meeting takes on a more informal feel for awhile, or vice versa. Perhaps the group decides to include food or even a full meal with their time as a way of building community. Discernment will also be needed to determine whether the facilitator of the group functions as a member - sharing their own experiences and processes - or functions as a container - holding space for the other members of the group. As always, as a formal spiritual director or group facilitator, having one’s own space for supervision and processing is a necessity. As the group processes what has happened collectively, there may be a variety of time and ways that grief, fear, anger, hope, and gratitude are expressed by the different people participating. It is also likely that words will often fail to express the feelings, fears, and hopes of the group members. Collective trauma, as its name implies, affects not only individuals but also the basic functioning of the group. A community - whether that is meant to describe people who live close to one another, people who share sacred spaces like a congregation, or people who meet together for other shared purposes - is something that is greater than the sum of its parts. It has a spirit of its own that can be affected by damage done to any individual component. Damage sustained by a building for example can be just as upsetting to the rhythms of daily life as damage to a person. Care can therefore be offered not only to participants but also to what the community symbolizes. The restoration of broader shared experiences or emphasis on healing traditions that foster people’s feelings of belonging and unity can help open the way for the healing of individual souls. As the group processes what has happened collectively, there may be a variety of time and ways that grief, fear, anger, hope, and gratitude are expressed by the different people participating. It is also likely that words will often fail to express the feelings, fears, and hopes of the group members. For this reason it may be helpful to rotate through different practices at different sessions, or to have several options available each time. These options may include:
Spiritual direction is a wonderful ministry to those who have experienced trauma because it can flex to meet the needs of both individuals and groups. I encourage you to learn about the uniquenesses of group direction so that this specialized form of care can be available to survivors seeking to spiritually process what has happened, together. Erin Jantz received her Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Soul Care from the Institute for Spiritual Formation. She also holds a B.A. in developmental psychology and has furthered her education with trainings in trauma care from Boston University and intensives with Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. She has been practicing spiritual direction since 2012, helped to author ICTG's Spiritual Formation Resource Guide, and also teaches and speaks on a variety of spiritual formation topics. Erin lives in Southern California with her husband and their four marvelous children.
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Facing any natural disaster can easily be an overwhelming experience. There is often a sense of complete loss of control as well as absolute loss of material possessions. With a flood there is potential for a long continued set of discoveries having to do with damage from the flooding, such as structural damage, mold, and erosion. Survivors of a flood may feel that they are swirling in questions and unknowns as they watch the waters rise and recede. How bad is the damage? Will we be able to repair it? Am I still in danger? How long will this last? Floods sometimes come and go very quickly, washing away memories and homes. And sometimes the flooded area is under water for weeks before even basic assessments can begin to be made. The language of describing flooding lends itself very well to also describing the feelings of those affected. “Drowning,” “washed away,” “torrent,” “adrift,” all may be ways that one’s directees experience their emotions. Patience and a calm presence from a spiritual director will be a great gift to those who are displaced by or recovering from flooding. Directors should also be attuned to the fact that most cultures and faith traditions have some sort of flood narrative in their collective stories or scriptures. It is possible that with floods more than other natural disasters, that individuals may have unconscious associations of the event with Divine wrath or punishment. As always, sensitivity, openness, and compassion are necessary in walking with these survivors. If you are meeting locally with people in your community then it is also likely in cases of flooding, or any widespread disaster, that you too have been affected. Be sure that you are taking the time and space to care for your own wounds in this healing period. Some practices that may be helpful for directees who have survived a flood include: -centering prayer -mindfulness or meditation -practicing gratitude -physical grounding exercises -“praying the hours” or other rhythms of worship -connecting with neighbors -volunteering A Prayer For After A Flood Oh God, the waters just kept rising. They poured down the streets and through our doors. Our feelings of agency and control have literally been washed away. Our homes and jobs are gone or put on indefinite hold. This waiting and wondering makes us weary deep in our bones. Some of us have lost material possessions. Some of us have lost beloved pets. Some of us have lost people who provided meaning in our lives. All of us have lost what we thought of as normal life. Give us the endurance to honor those losses. Pull our feet and souls out of this muck. Put us on a firm foundation. Restore us to our land and ourselves. Help us to see moments of joy and relief. Remind us of all that we are grateful for. Show us the clean start, hidden under the debris. Erin Jantz received her Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Soul Care from the Institute for Spiritual Formation. She also holds a B.A. in developmental psychology and has furthered her education with trainings in trauma care from Boston University and intensives with Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. She has been practicing spiritual direction since 2012, helped to author ICTG's Spiritual Formation Resource Guide, and also teaches and speaks on a variety of spiritual formation topics. Erin lives in Southern California with her husband and their four marvelous children.
One of the emotional experiences that often accompanies trauma is that of abandonment. The feeling of being utterly alone and vulnerable and feeling that one could not find the resources within one’s self to handle the crisis at hand in the moment (But be confident, we use the word “survivor” for a reason! Those resources were present and accessed as evidenced by the person sitting across from you!). For those who identify with Abrahamic or monotheistic religions, this is a feeling of “God-forsakenness” - the sense that in the occurrence of their trauma, even God became absent. This feeling of being abandoned, perhaps betrayed, by even God, and the necessary changes that occur in their perceptions of God, faith, and religion in the aftermath of trauma, is what I refer to when I talk to directees about their “double dose of grief.” For many this is a difficult feeling to name, and depending on the faith tradition, even more difficult to talk about. Trauma often challenges both our conscious and unconscious theologies to the core. Unintegrated or untested beliefs about God’s presence in the world, God’s ways of interacting with people, “providence,” and many others come into sharp moments of cognitive dissonance when we try to make meaning out of what has happened. For some, this painful time of refining and shedding old beliefs will eventually result in a more grounded faith. Many survivors find that they are in fact able to discover that Love does still exist and is accessible in their new understanding of the world. For others, they may find that the old tradition does not adequately address reality as they now experience it and they will find homes in other traditions. A spiritual director can be a great asset during these delicate and tender transitions. There is quite a bit of nuance in this type of questioning. There is a difference between questioning one’s faith and questioning the rhythms and rituals of one’s tradition. The first brings us to the core of ourselves where we deal with existential loneliness. The latter may cause us to feel like a misfit in our community and so we deal with a more tangible loneliness. A director must tread softly on this hallowed and fertile ground. Assuming that for the most part, we meet with directees who are part of the same or similar faith traditions as ourself, we must challenge ourselves to be honest about how open-handed we are with our tradition. How do we view those of other traditions? How do we view those who “leave” our tradition? By what means do we truly believe God meets and interacts with our neighbors of other faiths? With us? Does our tradition or institution welcome evolving faith or will that be viewed as threatening? These questions will have to be answered by you and by your directee. The answers may become particularly complicated if the trauma that has been survived was directly connected to a betrayal from within the tradition -either from a specific person or institution. Particularly challenging can be the experience of feeling distant from, or within, one’s own tradition. This often means a loss of support, community, and rhythms that previously were held dear. Experiences and groups that often religious folks find their identity within. The rumblings of change in one person’s faith often causes ripples that are felt by the entire community, if it is close-knit. Does your directee feel safe to discuss what they are experiencing honestly with their spiritual leaders and friends? Do they feel supported, encouraged, and accepted as they explore? Trauma often challenges both our conscious and unconscious theologies to the core. Unintegrated or untested beliefs about God’s presence in the world, God’s ways of interacting with people, “providence,” and many others come into sharp moments of cognitive dissonance when we try to make meaning out of what has happened. Faith and religion, and the practices thereof, have been shown again and again to be powerful tools in building resilience and healing. The deeper one’s spirituality is integrated into one’s life, the more necessarily it will be affected by trauma, for better and for worse. When walking with survivors, the question is not “if” their experience of trauma will lead to some challenging questions about faith, it is “when.” As spiritual directors, we can hold space for these questions, and stand with our directees at these crossroads, with the deep intention of not adding to their grief, but helping them to experience joy. Recommended Further Reading: Healing Spiritual Abuse and Religious Addiction, by Matthew Linn, et al. Spirit and Trauma: A Theology of Remaining, by Shelly Rambo Trauma and Grace: Theology in a Ruptured World, by Serene Jones Erin Jantz received her Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Soul Care from the Institute for Spiritual Formation. She also holds a B.A. in developmental psychology and has furthered her education with trainings in trauma care from Boston University and intensives with Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. She has been practicing spiritual direction since 2012, helped to author ICTG's Spiritual Formation Resource Guide, and also teaches and speaks on a variety of spiritual formation topics. Erin lives in Southern California with her husband and their four marvelous children.
Spiritual direction involves caring for and attending to the whole of a person. Our emphasis is on the soul or spirit of a person and so we often spend time developing habits of prayer and contemplation that facilitate deep connection between our experiences of the Divine and our conscious mind. In some cases however, and particularly when serving survivors of trauma, engaging the body is the best way to help make those connections. Physically moving, both as a gentle state during a direction session and as spiritual discipline, can help relieve symptoms within a person as they work towards healing connections within a fragmented self. Trauma is often held in the body as the physical responses of fight, flight, or freeze become stuck. These excesses of hormones and neurotransmitters become literal blockages that make it difficult for survivors to access some of their higher brain functions and leave them vulnerable to unpredictable instinctive responses. Including tailored movements into direction sessions can help directees connect more deeply with their own experiences and help them to remain grounded and present while doing so. Deciding how to engage the body in spiritual direction is a wonderful opportunity to discuss with your directees what helps them in very practical ways. For some, taking a leisurely walk while you talk and pray together may be the only chance in their busy life to be outside and moving. For some it may be needing to pause at regular intervals to check in with their extremities. Literally feeling their feet inside their shoes, wiggling their fingers, or shaking their head. Some may find that beginning or ending a session with gentle stretching helps them to release anxiety. Others may find it most helpful to have something to do during the session such as coloring -which helps coordinate the hemispheres of the brain- using a sand tray or other tactile meditation device. Our emphasis is on the soul or spirit of a person and so we often spend time developing habits of prayer and contemplation that facilitate deep connection between our experiences of the Divine and our conscious mind. In some cases however, and particularly when serving survivors of trauma, engaging the body is the best way to help make those connections. Of course, we directors are people too with our own physical limitations and comforts. Be honest about what your limitations are and find something that works for both of you. There are many kinetic meditations that could be practiced by your directee alone such as using a candle to focus on, measured pacing, taking a trauma-informed yoga class, or changing postures regularly during prayer. Some directees even find it helpful to create choreographed movements to accompany a personal lament or prayer or a favorite passage of scripture to help them connect with it. Be open to what works for your directee. In a broader sense, any physical activity or expression can be viewed and treated as a spiritual discipline. In everything we do from washing dishes, to exercising, to laughing at a comedy, there is an opportunity to connect to the Ever-Present-Ever-Loving. How might you encourage your directees to use the activities already built into their lives, those that seem mundane, to be a pathway to connection with the Divine? Allowing even the smallest of physical routines to be a reminder of Love is a powerful way for survivors to connect with themselves and to experience Presence in their bodies in healing ways. Recommended Further Reading: The Trauma Tool Kit: Healing PTSD From the Inside Out, by Susan Pease Banitt 101 Trauma Informed Interventions, by Linda Curran Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us, by Adele Calhoun Erin Jantz received her Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Soul Care from the Institute for Spiritual Formation. She also holds a B.A. in developmental psychology and has furthered her education with trainings in trauma care from Boston University and intensives with Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. She has been practicing spiritual direction since 2012, helped to author ICTG's Spiritual Formation Resource Guide, and also teaches and speaks on a variety of spiritual formation topics. Erin lives in Southern California with her husband and their four marvelous children.
A colloquialism that I often hear applied to parenting, but that I find true for much of life, is, “The days are long, but the years are short.” It is used to describe the paradoxical experience of some days seeming to be full of trials and “never ending” and yet, it seems that we blink and those days are just a memory in our past. The phrase strikes me as being true about the work done in spiritual development as well. Sometimes it feels as though, for better or for worse, we are stuck in an experience. As if we have reached our maximum depths and broadest understandings only to face a dull and unchanging future. Of course, this is not actually the case. In my opinion, even the most wise and enlightened among us only begin to dip a toe in this lifetime in to what is possible within the human experience. Philosophical musings aside, we journey through this life bound by space and time and we inevitably experience ourselves as stuck within one or both. Especially when trauma disrupts our normal flow. I have found it helpful in my own journey and practice of spiritual direction, to try and name the season my soul is in during these experiences of stillness. Like the seasons in nature, there is a flow to our growth. The seasons of the soul are not always equal in length, nor are they guaranteed to progress “in order.” However, having a sense of place in the long-term story of our lives helps us to appreciate our present season and lean in to whatever growth may be happening beneath the surface. I find that the simplest categories for these seasons correspond to those of the natural world, winter, spring, summer, and fall. Although, it can also be rewarding to personalize those names. Each season has two faces to it, acknowledging which we are walking in can help us find joy and gratitude or sobriety, whichever is needed for balance. Where might your soul find itself these days? Where is your directee? Spring May be characterized by explosive growth. Storms followed by sunshine and refreshment. Everything feels new and full of possibility, and the new is easy to discern. There may be a freshness to experiences, or a feeling of “airing out.” A time of cleaning house. It may also feel frenetic or overwhelming, like there is too much to see, a bombardment of the senses. Perhaps a longing for what is to come. Summer This season often feels like contentment, fullness, stability, abundance, relaxation and relief. A feeling of fun or freedom that lingers around even our mundane decisions. In American culture, summer is often treated as a unique and special season, even when we are out of school-age and no longer experience huge schedule changes. Perhaps there is a longing for adventure or a change of scenery. On the other hand, there may be a sense of being in the desert, of thirst, of the Light being too bright. Fall In this season there may be an emphasis on reflection and remembering. On the gathering in of hard work, harvest, abundance, feeling grateful and satisfied. On the other hand, there may be preparation for what is to come, hunkering down, and storing up. There may be a sense of seeing difficulty coming. Winter One of my favorite things about trees is the work they do in winter. When they seem barren and exposed is actually when all of the growth done during spring and summer is turned into solidity and strength. This is an integrating season. A deepening of roots in the quiet days. A time of coziness, rest, and waiting. For some though, winter may also be represented by a sense of dryness, exposure, being stuck, or buried. How have you experienced the seasons of your soul’s growth? What names have helped you identify and appreciate your present placement in life? Where do you see the Divine in each? Suggestions for Further Reading: Art of Spiritual Direction, by W. Paul Jones Spiritual Exercises Reclaimed: Uncovering Liberating Possibilities for Women, by Katherine Dyckman, Mary Garvin, and Elizabeth Liebert
In The Village of Care series we have the opportunity to hear from helping professions, who are not spiritual directors themselves but who can collaborate with spiritual directors to combine and expand resources for survivors. These voices come from medical, mental health, research, ministry, and public service. The goal in hearing these varying perspectives is to give us as spiritual directors some insight into the experiences that our directees may be having with other helpers in their lives, and language to talk about it with them. The expectation is that we are learning from our colleagues in other fields, and translating their advice where appropriate to the context of spiritual direction. We encourage you to make an effort to get to know care providers in your community now, so that you have relationships to lean on when greater context is needed. As a therapist at my local sexual assault center, I can’t count the number of times I had an individual in my office grappling with how to reconcile their sexual abuse or assault with their faith, and yet being afraid to approach the subject within their spiritual community. Terrified that their worst fears will be affirmed; that they are dirty, that they did something wrong, or that their feelings are somehow wrong or too much. These incorrect narratives are exactly why trauma informed spiritual directors are in such a unique position to provide vital support to survivors of sexual violence. My hope is that this post will give you a few things to keep in mind as you work with survivors of sexual violence to help you feel more confident and prepared. Examine yourself first. So often survivors will not mention their abuse in an effort to protect others, thinking it will upset the listener too much or that the person sitting across from them won’t know how to react. Check in with yourself on what feelings come up when sexual abuse and assault are mentioned. Is there personal work you need to do to be a calm and empathetic presence? Create safe spaces. Do your best to create a culture of respect and safety. With news stories of churches covering up abuses and ministers abusing their power, it is important to acknowledge these things and stand against them. Despite the staggering statistics of how frequent abuse is, it often remains something spoken about so little. We need to start conversations about sexual abuse and assault, urge our organizations to create and follow policies to help keep each other safe. Most importantly, make it known you are a safe person to talk to. We can’t ignore the world we live in and part of that is committing to be different. Listen & Believe. The reaction a person receives the first time they disclose is critical. It often sticks with them and sets the trajectory of their recovery. It could mean the difference between getting support and deciding to hold the secret for years if not for a lifetime. It can be incredibly scary for a survivor to speak up, so it is important to fully listen, let them know they are believed, and that they are not alone. Encourage them for their bravery in speaking up. Remove Guilt. One of the most important things you can say is, “This is not your fault.” Often survivors replay the events in their heads, sure that they did something to cause the assault or abuse. Thoughts like, I shouldn’t have trusted them, maybe I sent the wrong message, if I would have behaved better/differently maybe it wouldn’t have happened. Reassure that no matter what it was not their fault, and nothing they did caused this. Give back control. Someone who has survived abuse has been through something where their control over their own body and life was taken from them. It is important to give it back--give choices, make sure their voice is heard and valued, let them be in control. Assist in staying grounded. If someone is disclosing to you for the first time, or still in early phases of healing, it is possible they will begin to disassociate while sharing their story. You can use grounding techniques to help them avoid being re-traumatized by their memories. Ask them to rub their hands together or try doing some rhythmic tapping together. You can remind them they are safe with you, take some deep breaths, or ask if they would like to take a break to get a glass of water or a candy before continuing. Understand how trauma impacts the brain. It can be useful as a helper to understand what clients might be experiencing, and to be able to share that information when appropriate. Trauma affects memory. It’s not unusual for there to be gaps in memory or trouble putting together a narrative or timeline. Imagine throwing a puzzle in the air- pieces land everywhere, some face up, some face down, some get lost under furniture. This is what it feels like for an assault victim to try to recall the events of an assault, only bits and pieces are apparent, some are lost, and all is scrambled. It is incredibly frustrating, confusing, and can invoke such a feeling of hopelessness in survivors. When our body feels unsafe, it takes over. We’ve all heard of Fight or Flight, but what is less known is the Freeze response which is common in a sexual assault. It is an automatic response of the body to try to protect itself. It can be confusing to survivors as they look back and wonder why they didn’t react differently. Understanding trauma and its effects can be empowering for survivors, understanding that their body was doing its part to survive. There is nothing they could have done differently. Honor how the individual has survived. Enduring a trauma like sexual assault can leave individuals feeling unsafe in the world, unable to trust others or themselves as they did before. Often, survivors are left dealing with intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and nightmares. Dealing with these symptoms can lead to coping behaviors all across the board. It is so important to understand that these are survival mechanisms that have helped the individual get through. While they may be unhealthy or causing things in their world to fall apart, they are also what has helped the person survive and get to where they are today…the point where they are able to speak up and start to heal. Ensure Safety. If you have an individual disclosing abuse or an assault, you will often need to address safety. If you are dealing with child sexual abuse it is your responsibility to report to the police or your local child protection agency right away. If you are working with an adult survivor, there are many factors that the survivor will be taking into consideration when determining what is safest and best for them. It is very important to trust the survivor in this situation. It is always their decision whether or not they would like to report to authorities. If they are in an ongoing abusive situation or do not feel safe you can help them know their options and put together a safety plan identifying their support people, their local police, and domestic or sexual assault center. It is always a good idea to consider a medical exam to make sure the survivor is physically alright. Most hospitals have specially trained sexual assault nurse examiners to help and who can also collect forensic evidence if desired by the survivor. Connect. There is such healing power in connecting. You can encourage individuals to connect with their local sexual assault center. Often there is advocacy, counseling, support groups and other resources available. If you are unsure of your local agency, you can call our national hotline as a first step and they should be able to direct you to your local agency. There are also many online resources and support groups available. Start compiling your list of local agencies, resources, and support groups now so that it is robust and ready should you need to make referrals. Begin with these: National Sexual Violence Resource Center https://www.nsvrc.org/ RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) https://www.nsvrc.org/
Language is a powerful tool. Our words have the ability to tear down spirits and bind up broken hearts. As people we have the capacity to curse as well as bless another with what we say. In spiritual direction, and especially when walking with survivors of trauma, honesty is crucial to healing. We need to say what we mean, and mean what we say. This can be difficult however, when addressing experiences and needs that occur on a spectrum and that are tuned to the experience of the individual. Sensitivity and attunement to the unique perspectives and affects carried by our directees is important, clarifying conversations may need to happen often in the early meetings as a shared vocabulary is built to talk about this particular person’s story. What does “trauma” mean in the context of spiritual direction? What is the role of a spiritual director when companioning someone who is a survivor? When spiritual directors come into contact with directees who have survived a traumatic experience, our main focus will be to help them with the spiritual effects of that trauma. It is helpful however to have an understanding of how trauma affects the whole person - mind, body, and soul - so that we can be sensitive to what our directees are able to do and so that we as directors can “stay in our lane.” Having a broad understanding of the effects of trauma helps us to also have appropriate expectations of what healing may look like in each individual. There are many terms, some technical some not, that get used when talking about trauma. Phrases like “Post-Traumatic Growth,” “PTSD,” “Compassion Fatigue,” and many others become part of any discussion. Being clear with our language helps us communicate effectively with both our directees and other professionals with whom we may be partnering to care for survivors. Having expansive and inclusive definitions for these terms will help us to be open to learning from others, and especially from our directees, who are the real experts on their own experiences. Everyone who has survived a traumatic event experiences what we know as “Post Traumatic Stress.” For some this becomes full-fledged PTSD, but not always. Generally speaking, PTS is what it sounds like, stress. This may show itself in physical, psychological, and/or spiritual forms. It may be anything from muscle soreness to night terrors. PTSD refers to a medical diagnosis where the stress of the event was so overwhelming that the body’s systems have become stuck or unregulated in some way that is disruptive to the person’s life. Treating PTSD effectively requires the care of a team of health professionals. Similarly, many people experience Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). PTG is often defined or thought about as positive changes or outcomes as a result of experiencing a crisis. While this feels good to think about and hope for, the definition is both limited, and limiting to survivors. Talking about PTG as if everything will one day be easy, or as if all effects and symptoms will fade away is not only demoralizing to those who continue to struggle, but also fails to celebrate the resources that have allowed individuals to survive and move forward but may seem “negative.” Anger, active mourning, self-medicating behaviors, even PTSD itself, may not be sustainable options for managing trauma. But the truth is that those things (or whatever your directee is dealing with), have kept that person alive. Fight, flight, and freeze all take incredible strength to activate. Having the perspective that the very fact that there is a person sitting in front of us is something to be in awe of, helps us to bless whatever systems have helped them cope up to this point. It is particularly important for us as caregivers to have a plethora of clear language to describe experiences and emotions because language centers and frontal lobe processing are often affected by trauma. A survivor often has a very difficult time expressing to both themselves and others what has happened in their own words. Being able to offer language that is accurate to a survivor’s experience helps them to heal as they are able to more and more tell their story in a coherent manner. Important to note, research has shown that pushing someone to talk about their traumatic experience hurts more than it helps. It can even go so far as to re-traumatize the survivor. Reflection on the experience can be very helpful in diminishing feelings of helplessness, but words are not required for deep reflection to take place. Take the time to educate yourself on the descriptors of trauma and its effects. Have your own words and language so that you do not unintentionally place the burden of your education on your directee. Know the connections between body and mind and what helps them heal. When we are able to help with words and actions, caring for the whole person sitting in front of us, that is when we are truly being “God with skin on” for that directee. Reminding them of, and pointing them to, the Divine Presence that is caring for them every moment on their journey. Suggestions for Further Reading: Trauma and Spirituality, by Han van den Blink Looking Into The Well: Supervision of Spiritual Directors, by Maureen Conroy, R.S.M.
Humans have great capacity for joy and health. Despite the great damages sometimes inflicted on us by each other and our planet, deep within each of us is the ability to heal. We are able to find goodness in the mundane and the extreme. This innate gift of healing, of moving toward wholeness, is what we mean when we use the word resiliency. This capacity for resiliency is something that we can develop and strengthen in our daily lives so that when we find ourselves in crisis, we have already laid down a path that will bring us back. Spiritual direction is one activity that people can engage in that increases their capacity for resilience. There are several ways in which this occurs. In spiritual direction, we facilitate truth telling and we practice holding hope. We create safe spaces in the absence of crisis, so that when things are hard, directees have somewhere to turn to discern Divine Companionship through what has happened and their healing processes with other care professionals. We wrestle with concepts like forgiveness and help to establish healing rituals and sacred spaces. Spiritual direction also contributes uniquely to brain health in what has been termed, Neurotheology. We know that being validated by feeling heard, leads to feeling safe. Neuroimaging studies have shown that when someone hears a statement that mirrors their inner state (what we would call a compassion statement) the right side of the amygdala lights up to underline the accuracy of the reflection. Research also has shown that when people pray (whether that person be a Buddhist monk, Jesuit priest, or a Pentecostal praying glossolalia) that the brain is exercised in a unique way that causes it to thicken like a muscle. Connections between the different areas of the brain are strengthened which helps prepare the brain to handle traumatic experiences. Spiritual direction also provides a unique form of training to individuals. Like athletes who are preparing for a race, participants in spiritual direction are strengthening important internal connections. Directees are developing “spiritual fitness.” When used positively, spirituality and religion provide a sense of belongingness and purpose in life. Spiritual direction provides practice at finding Presence in the day-to-day. Allowing these habits to become part of one’s daily life provides a grounding and normalizing experience that is readily accessed in times of struggle. Spiritual direction also helps build internal structures that can affect how we perceive and internalize the realities of our circumstances. Much of the experience of participating in spiritual direction is about meaning-making. The meaning that we make out of our lives changes both what and how we remember. Finally, good spiritual direction is a safe, compassionate relationship. A relationship in which all emotions are welcome and truth-telling is encouraged. Traumatologist, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk said, “Traumatized human beings recover in the context of relationships…The role of those relationships is to provide physical and emotional safety, including safety from feeling shamed, admonished, or judged, and to bolster the courage to tolerate, face, and process the reality of what has happened.” He gives an excellent description of the gift of spiritual direction. The unique and important support that spiritual companions provide through our physical and emotional presence, as well as the help of pointing directees toward the Presence of God, is invaluable to health and wholeness. In all cases, but particularly with survivors of trauma, we are caring for the mind, body, and soul in our work. Let us be intentional in helping to provide holistic care to those we journey alongside. Recommendations for further reading: Roadmap to Resilience: A Guide for Military, Trauma Victims and Their Families, by Dr. Donald Meichenbaum
The wounds of trauma exist along a spectrum, so necessarily does healing. A phrase that has rightly grown in popularity in the last few years is “healing is not linear.” We at ICTG have certainly found this to be true in our work with various communities and organizations over the years. In this Easter season for the Christian tradition, I have been struck often by the words of Henri Nouwen about Jesus, “His resurrection was a hidden event…Neither his life nor death nor resurrection was intended to astound us with the great power of God.” This statement strikes me as very true about the type of quiet healing we are often privileged to witness in spiritual direction. There are certainly moments of deep emotion and meaningful insight, but often, the true work being done in the soul of the person sitting across from us is hidden. Its invisible nature however is still very much miraculous and powerful. Part of the work of spiritual direction, and indeed most disciplines that bring about personal growth, is bringing the unconscious into the light of consciousness. This is how we make meaning out of what we have experienced in our lives. This is also how much of healing happens. Only when we are able to see clearly what we are carrying with us, can we handle it appropriately. Blessing it and setting it aside, or choosing to keep it with us as a companion that serves us in our journey. Much of this work is accomplished by taking tiny steps forward, then stopping to integrate our new position, then taking another tiny step. As spiritual directors, we can offer patience with and space for this process with our directees. It is tempting for our directees, and indeed ourselves, to want to see great leaps of progress. Huge movements of healing where everything feels different immediately after meeting. And that certainly can happen! Most often however, it is only from much further down the road that we are able to look back and see how far we’ve come. That the sum total of all of those small steps has moved us through to a new perspective is something usually seen in hindsight. When I describe what spiritual direction is, including how trauma plays a role in someone’s life, there is often a general response of, “That’s good.” But unless they’ve experienced it for themselves, rarely is anyone astounded. Rarely does anyone respond with, “How powerful!” And that is just fine. Companioning is not a glorious path. It is messy, and slow, and often dark. That does not make it any less of a gift. To be present with someone and witness them facing their fears and struggles, witness them glimpsing light in the distance, watching them bask in the warmth of new found Presence or perhaps just getting comfortable with Darkness, and to get to say, “Remember…”. What more could we ask for? As spiritual directors, walking with those who have survived a disaster in any form, we are a people of small steps. We look at the wound and we don’t flinch. We weep for the broken heart. We appreciate and celebrate the hidden work. We know that it sometimes requires more energy and faith to take a small step than it does to make a mighty leap. Our work may not always seem astounding to others, but we are witnessing miracles nonetheless. Suggested Further Reading: Spiritual Direction:Wisdom For the Long Walk of Faith, by Henri Nouwen Suggested Resources: Phases of Disaster Chart
Part of being a compassionate companion to someone who has survived trauma is an awareness of the far reaching effects trauma can have on a human being. Regardless of the type of trauma experienced, the whole of a person is affected. This makes companioning a survivor a unique case. One of the difficult things about trauma compared to other “issues” we may face in spiritual direction, is that we are not only dealing with relational or emotional wounds. Even if the person has never been physically harmed we are dealing with damaged biological systems, so we must incorporate their biology into the direction experience. It is helpful to have an understanding of the physical responses people have to trauma both so that we can offer appropriate and helpful disciplines as needed, but also so that we can carefully navigate those physical aspects of the spiritual life that may be under strain. The major physical responses to trauma that may affect the direction relationship, but be invisible to the eye, mostly take place in the brain. During a traumatic experience, the frontal lobe of the brain shuts down. The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that helps us with reason and decision making. After the event is over, the frontal lobe often has trouble re-establishing connections, especially around events related to the trauma itself. This invisible injury may express itself in direction as difficulty being present and a lack of language. It may be hard for the directee to explain their own emotions or thoughts to both themselves and their director. The lower regions of the brain, sometimes referred to as our “reptilian brain,” get overstimulated during overwhelming events. This is the instinctive part of the brain that integrates and interprets input from your internal organs, including muscles, joints, and balance system, to give us a sense of being embodied. Trauma interrupts these communications as well as making it difficult to distinguish the past from the present. Trauma also distorts social awareness, creates defensiveness, and interferes with abilities to regulate. We also see trauma affecting other systems in the body. The hormones that regulate our fight or flight responses often become stuck, flooding the body unexpectedly. A survivor’s body may be full of trapped energy. This over abundance of adrenal hormones wears on other systems. One theory of understanding trauma’s physical affects is called Polyvagal theory. This refers to the two vagal systems that run throughout the body. These are located above and below the diaphragm. We experience these systems as the difference between something making one’s heart pound or breathing increase versus something being “gut-wrenching.” If the upper vagal system has been affected by trauma, directees may suffer from a lack of prosody, poor face to face gaze, flat facial affect, sound hypersensitivities, and inappropriate posture during social engagement. If the lower vagal system has been affected, we may see poor mood and affect, atypical state regulation, a low threshold to become fight or flight, a low threshold to become dissociative, lower gut problems, or fibromyalgia. Understanding these effects of trauma can help us to be patient and compassionate in meaningful ways with our directees who have survived trauma. Incorporating grounding experiences, recommending practices that help with brain health (for example, coloring), being sensitive to the frustrations that come with lack of language and so perhaps offering Visio Divina over Lectio, all of these are ways that we can compassionately care for the whole of our directees as they begin to heal. *Suggestions for further reading: The Body Keeps the Score, by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk In An Unspoken Voice, by Dr. Peter Levine
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SPIRITUAL DIRECTION BLOG
From 2012-2020, this blog space explored expanding understanding and best practices for holistic health in the context of spiritual direction.
This website serves as a historical mark of work the Institute conducted prior to 2022. This website is no longer updated. Archives
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