In this series we acknowledge that "disasters do not wait until we are fully prepared", that many leaders are learning as they go, and we extend our hope that though sharing perspectives you may find some easier ways to create a new rhythm at this time. Part 3 is a reflection by two of ICTG's interns about life as college students away from campus, and their current rhythms, pacing, and nourishment.

​Read a reflection on home life in What’s Working For Me Right Now - Part 1 here. 
​Read Part 2, A Minister's Reflection, on the Congregational Blog, here. 

As college students, we are asked to adapt quickly to new challenges, constantly being assessed on our critical thinking and problem solving skills. But then came COVID-19 and our well developed habits felt obsolete. Nobody was given the chance to take Quarantine 101. While we are all feeling the aches and pains of adjusting to this new way of living, it’s tempting to forget our strengths. 

​We must remember: we are not strangers to change. Everyday, whether consciously or subconsciously, we are adapting to changes around us. Even though the shock of this transition is on a much larger scale, the both of us have been encouraged to see the creativity in how our peers are “making it work”. With the extra time we each have right now, we have the opportunity to self-assess how to intentionally care for our individual needs. With our intricately unique human needs, we will all need different practices to ensure health amidst social distancing and the disruption to our sense of normal. ​​

Getting active and putting my body to use during this time. It is easy to feel useless during this time. When we are sitting inside for so many hours a day, it can become numbing and leave us out of tune with our own bodies. Staying active, especially in a way that brings joy to you individually, can be so helpful! For me, it has been working well to do home workouts outside in the sun when it’s shining.  Lately, I often find myself feeling like there is nothing but time, and I can quickly fall into the habit of putting off doing things that make me feel productive and energized. On days where I’m lacking the positive energy to get up and be active, it helps to ask a friend to join me in a workout. This can even be done over zoom or facetime! Setting up an accountability system with friends has kept me both motivated and made movement even more enjoyable. Not only does working out improve my mental health, but it gives me a way to cherish my body and still feel empowered when so much of the world makes me feel powerless right now. ~Jackie

Making “pauses” a part of my WFH routine. Now that all class time, schoolwork, and internship tasks have been moved to an online platform, I could realistically spend all day with my eyes glued to a screen. At school, such screen overload was usually interrupted by physically moving from space to space. Classrooms were for instruction, coffee shops were for homework, and my apartment was for meals and socializing with friends. But when you are stuck inside your house all day, time isn’t governed by space. The first week or so at home, every room in my house became a work zone - a potential place for me to be more productive. What once were areas of rest and calm, became bombarded by technology and COVID-19 email updates. I was constantly plugged into a world outside my home, without ever being present in the environment around me. So, I hit pause. By the second week, I started leaving my laptop and phone in my bedroom, literally shutting the door, and walking away for an hour. Slowly but surely, I’ve relaxed into more of a routine, incorporating these pauses throughout my day. My morning cup of coffee does not need to be a productive hour of my life - it just needs to be a cup of coffee, and that’s okay. ~Megan

Connection with others, and also with myself. Something I have had to assess in myself with this shift in daily living is that I am very outgoing and I thrive when I have a lot of social interaction. This is of course difficult and many of us are feeling the effects of lacking social engagement. Luckily, I am living with six of my friends in my home in Santa Barbara. It has been a blessing to engage with my friends and spend time together, whether it’s working out together, playing board games, investing in new TV shows we can talk about, or cooking communal meals. Finding ways to remind ourselves of how connected we truly are is crucial right now. If you have the privilege of being quarantined with other people, setting up ways to intentionally engage with them is important during this time. And, if we are gifted with the privilege of wifi and technology, scheduling social events over zoom and setting up phone calls to check in with loved ones can remind us of how many deep connections we have in this time. Further, we can get creative and invest time in finding ways to still spread love to the people in our lives such as writing letters or putting together care packages. 

​On the other side of this, when we are stuck functioning in small spaces with other people it can be difficult to keep up with the equally important engagement of connection with ourselves. It took me some time to recognize that I really needed time to myself. Especially with the weight of so much being changed and out of our control, I found myself wanting to do nothing more than distract in the first few weeks of quarantine. I quickly found myself feeling disconnected and out of tune with my own feelings about the world around me. It can be easy to avoid introspection about our current situation, because so much of what is going on is difficult to process. While it is overwhelming to sit with, it has been extremely helpful for me to use practices such as journaling and going for walks alone to breathe, process my thoughts, and find my center. ~Jackie

Commemorating and Celebrating in new ways. As my college graduation quickly approaches, this was not how I imagined spending the last month of my time as an undergraduate student. We’ve entered a season of rapid transition, which can feel confusing, daunting, and beyond our scope of preparedness. For a little while, I was searching for how to make it be “the same”. How could I make it be as special as I had always imagined? This proved to be a frustrating exercise. So instead of focusing on the questions I didn’t know how to answer, the problems I had no solution for, I turned my attention to what I am equipped to do in this season. I tried to get creative with how I could make the most of this special time in life. I began watching movies with my roommate over Facetime and joining big Zoom calls my senior girls Bible study. I began a shared Google Drive for all of my friends to organize our favorite photos and memories from each year of college, so we can create a keepsake book afterwards. I mailed out letters of encouragement and started a book club with the kids I’ve spent years relating to through a nonprofit in Santa Barbara. I found ways to still make this month a meaningful time in my life. I also made peace with letting go of my old expectations and embracing new ways to remember and honor this time. ~Megan

Not seeing this time as a “waste”. 
For those of us who thrive when we can fuel our ambitions and work towards goals, this time likely feels frustrating and depriving. With all sense of normalcy changing, and the productivity of the entire world slowing down, it is easy to feel like we are living in nothing but a waiting period. But our lives are continuing! For me, making new goals specific to being at home has been life giving. I have decided to take up new hobbies that I have not had the time to try, such as mastering rollerblading and improving my cooking skills! Having new challenges to get better at gives me something to look forward to. I also created a Quarantine Bucket List, filled with goals, other new things I want to try, and creative ideas of things to do at home.  ~Jackie

In ten years time, how will we remember the weeks we spent in social isolation? If we are in good health, in a safe home, with plenty of food and toilet paper - we have much to be grateful for! There are many in our country, and certainly across the world, who are not in such an advantageous position. Although I grieve and mourn the loss of being at school right now, I am also grateful to be healthy and at home with my family. And in honor of others who have lost their lives or those they love because of COVID-19, I have chosen to not see this time period as a “waste.” I have chosen to view it as an opportunity to grow in love, compassion, and care for those who are hurting. My internship with ICTG has been an opportunity for me to continue caring for those affected by COVID-19, even remotely from my home. I’ve been able to connect with families in Ventura County, listen to National VOAD phone calls and the Santa Barbara Community Wellness Team calls, as well as assist in updating our COVID-19 resource page. Whether it’s better loving those directly in our home, or supporting nonprofits and medical professionals remotely, there are a number of ways we can all come together to support one another. ~Megan

Did you know you can give a financial gift to help support ICTG's unique learning-serving internships? ICTG interns receive one-on-one coaching and complete projects related to their community leadership interests. Help support our internship program and donate today!

Megan Davis is currently a fourth year student at Westmont College, earning a Bachelors of Science in Psychology with a minor in Religious Studies. She has a keen interest in developmental psychology and it’s relationship with trauma and resilience, especially in children and youth. When she is not studying fundamentals of counseling, or analyzing Paul’s letters to the church, you can find her in the East Side of Santa Barbara eating a taco and hanging out with a crew of kids.

Jackie George is in her fourth year at Westmont College, earning a B.A. in Psychology. She is passionate about the psychology behind connectedness and vulnerability, especially in regards to how these impact resilience and post-trauma healing. Her variety of cultural experiences have influenced her passion to better understand others and how we can support one another in a way that empowers all individuals. 

When we work with organizations, whether it's in the aftermath of an internal crisis, such as the sudden loss of a leader due to death or an act of betrayal, or an external crisis, such as a natural disaster or mass attack, at some point we often talk about the Phases of Disaster chart. Forms of this chart first began being published and utilized in the early 2000s (for example, Meyers and Wee, 2005). It is based on anecdotal evidence of common themes that many communities report experience following a singular event of community disaster. ​

We find it helpful to continue using, even as many communities face multiple disasters in short succession, or a series of events that leave a group feeling like they have been through a larger disaster, or even in times of a global pandemic, because it repeatedly helps participants to find language for what they are experiencing. Even, and perhaps especially, when they feel like the chart in some way does not represent their experience. ​

For example, presently, we are hearing from many groups about how the traditional "hero" phase feels like a much sharper and lengthier incline right now. There is so much business, so much need, so much to react and respond to, so much information to take in that it does not feel like just a few weeks, but that it is continuing to go on, or is going on in a very bumpy way, as many people also feel sharp moments of fatigue as they strive to take in new information again and again. 

How would you depict how you or your people are reacting? Consider making it an exercise for your staff. In doing so, you likely will find ways to help support one another or to refer one another to additional resources in the community. If you need assistance identifying additional forms of support, reach out. We'd be glad to hear from you! ​

As the COVID-19 pandemic has swept the globe, many of us have found our daily routines turned upside down. Rhythms and relationships are changing faster than many of us feel we can keep up. Institutions that we relied on are no longer available, or at least not in the same way. We are all adjusting to this new normal.

My family’s experience of all this has been a somewhat uncommon one. My partner has been working from home for almost 25 years. I’ve been working from home in various jobs for about 16. Almost 8 years ago we began alternatively educating our four children. So our family was already accustomed to being home, together, a lot. We, too, are missing classes, meetings, and time with friends and extended family right now, but our days in the house have not been stressful or filled with conflict.  

I remember when they were though. I remember the days of staring at my husband, my favorite person in the world, and thinking, “How are we ever going to manage spending this much time together!?” And I’m an extrovert! Similarly, as years went by and children were added to our ranks, there were angst-filled seasons of trying to meet everyone’s needs, mediate conflicts, and maintain some semblance of adult sanity. Transitions are often grating. We feel irritated and sensitive, raw. But those feelings can and do pass. So I hope by sharing with you some of what is not only working for us now, but has been working consistently for a long time, that you may find some easier ways to create a new rhythm in your house. That you will be able to adjust relatively quickly instead of stumbling in the dark for years like we did.

1. Do your own work: I don’t mean what is due to your employer or your share of household tasks.  I mean the difficult internal work of meeting yourself. We all have grief work to do.  We all had expectations and plans about how the next week, not to mention the next year, was going to go.  We are all facing different levels of financial, emotional, and physical strain. It requires a great deal of courage to acknowledge the realities of the grief we are facing.  With the future being unknown it can feel dangerous to venture into grief. Like it might never end. I promise it does. Grief is like waves. It ebbs and flows. Some days the currents are stronger than others.  But much like the actual ocean, turning our backs on grief is the quickest way to be overwhelmed by surprise. When we face our grief, allow tears to flow, allow anger and confusion to move through us - they all tend to in fact, flow through.  Like breathing in and breathing out. Doing your own work - naming what has been uniquely lost by you and how you feel about it - creates internal space into which you can begin to welcome those around you.
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2. ​Abandon authoritarianism: Increased time together, in shared space, can be an invitation to move away from seeing others as cogs in the machine of daily grind and move towards re-envisioning one another as whole people.  This is true of partners, children, housemates, neighbors, and co-workers. Many of us unintentionally relate to others from a place of scarcity. The fear that there is not enough time, not enough resources, not enough sleep, not enough love.  If we work from the assumption that it is impossible for all needs to be met then we must put a lot of mental and emotional energy into prioritizing needs, creating hierarchy. Especially for parents or other caregivers, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that either our needs and desires must be met first, or that we must fully sacrifice ourselves to meet the needs of those around us.  This is somewhat maintainable when our regular routine gives us breaks and space from the demands of others. However, it is never sustainable in the long run. Times like these offer us an invitation to build consensual households. Where everyone’s needs matter and everyone is given consideration. I am not suggesting abdication of parental authority, nor denying the power dynamics inherent in adult-child relationships.  However, if we can move from a posture of, “How do I get through this” to “How can we best make this enjoyable for everyone” then we are no longer competing. We are all giving a little and taking a little to create realistic balance. We all need play and rest, togetherness and privacy. By working together we can create space and gift each other with feeling seen and heard.
   
   
3. Embrace Intentionality: For most of us, some aspects of our lives have been carefully chosen and curated while other parts have just seemed to happen.  We often fall backwards into routines provided for us by work, school, or religious activities and then try to fit the rest of life in-between.  In many ways, the disruption of those institutional rhythms feels like chaos, but I would like to suggest a reframe. Perhaps some of the disorientation we are feeling is the return of agency.  We get to choose again. We get to choose much of what our work day will look like, how and what our children will learn, how our spiritual health will be maintained, which relationships will be poured into and which ones will survive some distance.  That’s a lot of decisions to make. But not all of those decisions have to be made today. And no decision needs to be final. We have an opportunity in these days to really examine what works well for our household, and customize to that. No one needs to do what the neighbors are doing.  It is okay to do what works for you and your house, today. I encourage you, as much as you can, to enjoy this freedom to choose. To control what we can. To discover that you are capable of much more than you thought possible, and to do it all on purpose.
   
   
4. Practice calm, direct, honest communication: This may seem so obvious that you are wondering why I didn’t list it first!  In my experience, leaning into this kind of conversation depends on openness to the first three points. I have found that putting in the effort to make “I” statements builds in an accountability that is otherwise easily lost.  It is faster to tell my partner or child, “You need to…” when I am feeling frightened or otherwise stressed in a situation. Starting with “I need … from you” requires me to do my own work, abandon authoritarianism, and embrace intentionality. It also helps me to hear the deeper need out loud. Sometimes my concern is genuine, “Please don’t run with knives in the house!” But sometimes when I rephrase into an “I” statement I realize it’s really only me that has a problem, “I like the doll’s hair long.” Whether that is asking someone to climb down from a dangerous place, or to give me five more minutes to finish an email, making it an “I” statement allows me to express and stand up for my needs and invite the other to care for me. As opposed to making a demand on the other (“You need to …”) which immediately puts us in an adversarial who-matters-more dilemma at best. At worst, it shames and isolates us from one another.
   
   
5. Get in touch with your higher power: Whether you believe in God, in Love, in Justice, or in Science, the Source of that belief resides deep within you and extends far beyond you. (Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski break this down wonderfully in their book Burnout, which is a great read for times like these!).  There is an abundance of calm. There is nourishing peace. There is community even when we feel distanced. The trick is to connect with it. Practice attending to the particular things that point you to universal truths. Take a moment to look at the clouds and wonder at the bigness of the sky.  Appreciate the blooms on trees, consider how slowly they grow and yet how strong they stand. Listen to the birds, ask what makes your heart sing. Enjoy art, be curious about the experiences of another. Smell your coffee, practice gratitude. Try something grounding and integrative like coloring, box breathing, meditation, journaling or yoga.  Moments of calm are available throughout the day.  Learning where that calm lives in you, and being able to access it during days when breaks are few can help you pace yourself.  Your higher power is both within you and outside you, and here for times just like these.

In the coming weeks, community care needs will escalate exponentially as COVID-19 impacts continue to increase. Here are some ways you or your team can prepare: 

Creating a Trajectory Map
Use the Phases of Disaster as a starting place, and begin to draft a trajectory map for your organization or community. You can share your maps on twitter, facebook, instagram, or linked in, using hashtag #carerestores. 

As you're creating your map, consider the differences your organization or community are experiencing compared with traditional understandings of episodic or singular incident disasters. For example, many groups are finding their sense of the initial "hero" stage has been a far sharper incline or spike, as leaders and volunteers have rushed in this last week to solve as much as they can and now, even within just a week or two, are experiencing significant senses of fatigue. The fatigue appears to be related to a combination of the strong push to help along with the remarkable speed at which new information is released, often changing and becoming out-dated even hour by hour. 

Continue to use your map as a draft or living document with your team, a template that you can update over the coming weeks and months. 

Recognize the Range of Impact
Over the next several weeks and months, your clients, patients, or community members, will experience a range of impacts. Some of these will be directly COVID-19 related. For example:

• How will you or your team provide care to individuals who may be suffering or dying alone, unable to receive visitors? Will you provide them with phone calls, cards, or deliveries? 
• How will you or your team provide care to family members of those individuals, who are unable able to be with their loved ones as they suffer or die alone? 
• How will you encourage acts of memorial in times of physical distancing? 
• How are you or your team providing care to first responders, medical personnel, behavioral health personal, and emergency responders who are a part of your congregation or ministry group? 

Some of the impacts will be indirectly related to COVID-19. For example:

• How are you or your team providing care to clients, patients, or community members who are experiencing significant loss of income, loss of jobs, inability to access food, or inability to access medical care deemed non-urgent or unrelated to COVID-19? 
• How are you or your team providing care to clients, patients, or community members who are experiencing increased senses of grief, bereavement, anxiety, depression, or exacerbated symptoms related to pre-existing mental health challenges? 

Pacing Care for Sustainability
As you consider what needs already are present and what may be coming, in what ways can you and your staff pace and nourish yourselves now so that you can avoid burnout and provide sustainable care through the long-term? 

Here are some helpful resources for understanding trauma, pacing, and sustaining long-term care: 

• An example of a community collaboration effort for identifying emerging needs and making referrals
• Free ICTG resources (These network inventories are something proactive and concrete you can do today):
  • Personal Care Network Inventory
  • Professional Care Network Inventory
• An in-depth training manual

Further Reading:

• How Long Term Response to Pandemic Differs from Other Types of Disaster Response
• Metabolizing Adversity
• What Kind of Person are You in an Emergency?
• Preparing and Responding to Pandemic Virus​

One of the most challenging aspects to accept when responding to a disaster is how long term recovery differs from other forms of stress. Unfortunately, response to a pandemic also significantly differs from other forms of long term recovery, let alone other forms of stress. 

One of the major differences from other types of disasters is that a pandemic simultaneously effects to great degree numerous communities at once. Other types of disasters (i.e., tornadoes, hurricanes, wildfires, or mass attacks, for example) instead may effect one or a few communities at once. ​

USA TODAY

There can be positive aspects to the broad scope of pandemic impacts. For example, many people appreciate how we're all in this together, no matter what county, state, or even country you may be located. If you call a family member or coworker in another region, likely you have similar experiences to discuss. 

That said, the level of impact can feel overwhelming to many people. Here are some important practices to keep in mind as you proceed through stages of impact by pandemic: 

Pace and Nourish Yourself and the People Around You as You Go
This cannot be emphasized enough. The road ahead is a long one. There will be many needs to address, well beyond issues of quarantine and physical distancing. You will have greater ability to adapt and respond to what comes if you pace your response, do not over function, and incorporate healthy daily practices. You cannot solve the pandemic in a day, a week, or even a month. 

As you consider pacing and nourishing yourself and the people around you, in your homes, work, or neighborhood, consider what you have been putting off in the last few days since beginning to realize the gravity of the pandemic spread. Dinners with family or housemates? Smiling at people in your household or in your neighborhood on a regular basis? Taking time to move around, or to take a mental break from focusing on response to think about or enjoy something else for a little while? How many days will you be putting these things off? This week? Several weeks? The demands are not going to lift any time soon. And if you continue to put these important nourishing practices on hold, you inadvertently will prepare yourself for burnout. 

Gather Your Resources
What or who helps you personally and professionally? If you do not already know, now is a good time to figure this out, as you will need to draw on these practices, forms of support, or people throughout the weeks ahead. Having a current referral list is very helpful. There may also be certain supplies you regularly need in the weeks ahead. Take time to consider what those are and identify ways of obtaining them, if possible and necessary. 

Remember, A Step at a Time
Rather than focusing on the big picture, many people who survive, and even thrive, beyond significant adversity, reflect on how they did it by focusing on what they or the people around them needed next, more than everything that was needed. By focusing on the next step, gradually you create a step-by-step pathway forward. 

You can do this! And, your efforts are contagious. Thank you for the tremendous difference you are making. 

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In a recent conference call for faith-based leaders, I referenced a term I've used in many settings to describe the process of assimilating or moving through the affects of challenge we can experience in small or large ways throughout our daily living: metabolizing adversity. 

When I use this term, I am referring to the range of activities that have been proven to help a body process stress hormones. 

We experience stress hormones on a daily basis. They are not only related to crises or disasters. If we do not establish habits in our lives that help us regularly decrease those elevations by increasing our hormones related to self-agency and self-care, we are more likely to eventually develop diseases, including potentially heart disease, diabetes, auto-immune diseases, or cancer, as well as potential disorders, including high rates of anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideations. 

How best can you develop daily habits that help you metabolize adversity you experience?

• First, consider what actually nourishes you. What do you find most relieving, most relaxing, most refreshing, or most inspiring? Is it hard or easy to come up with answers to those questions? It's ok if you don't know right away. Take some time to consider it. Consider whether the activities that bring you relief or relax you are healthy, or have other byproducts that maybe harming you. Take some more time to consider what actually nourishes you.
  
• See if you can begin to incorporate some of those things, a little bit at a time, practicing each day so they can become habits.
  
• It can be relatively simple, like committing to having an extra glass or two of water each day. Or, committing to setting your alarm to take a brief stroll every hour, especially if you work many hours sitting down. Or, talking with someone you enjoy at the end of each day, between ending work and beginning your evening routine. Or, creating a new bedtime routine.
  
• See how you feel after trying some of these, daily, for at least a week. 

Sleep, regular movement, healthy meals and snacks, drinking water, interacting with people you care about and who care about you, and practicing your faith, are all ways proven to help you metabolizing stress or adversity you encounter.

You can practice these, and you can encourage the people in your households, work environments, and neighborhoods to practice them too. 

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Remember, it's not just about washing hands
Washing hands is one of the number one ways to help stop the spread of viruses. That said, there are many ways to spread germs, and washing hands may not prevent illnesses from spreading. In the case where your community does become impacted, you may need to consider how your organization exercises its mission, especially whether you provide services, education, worship, or other forms of connection to your members or constituents who may become home-bound for some time.

Throughout our website you will find many resources for ways to support your constituents and we encourage you to explore them. Also, reach out if you have questions or would like additional guidance on getting prepared or responding. ​