The famous pediatrician-turned-psychoanalyst, D. W. Winnicott, once observed, "home is where we start from." Home, whatever it may consist of, largely influences our approach to crises or disasters, as well as our approach to life and the world in general.

Below are some ways to help your home, or the spaces in which you reside, enhance your ability to cope. 

Beginning the Day

As much as we like to remind one another that the sun rises, even if behind the clouds, the reality is that the sun does not rise and you do not have to pretend that it is rising behind the clouds in order to help yourself feel better. Rather, the Earth carries you, every evening, to greet the sun in the morning, without you doing anything at all. In gratitude, you can rise to meet it. 

Then, greet yourself in the mirror, and, if you live with others, greet those around you. No matter the circumstances in which you may all find yourself, allow your greeting to be a sign of how much you value and care for one another. 

Beginning in the morning, strive to do the following throughout the day: 

• Hydrate with water
• Include proteins, vegetables, and vitamins with your meals
• Especially during stressful times, limit sugar, caffein, and alcohol
• Move (i.e., walking, stretching, or other forms of exercise)

Throughout the Day

Continue to greet people you encounter in ways that express how you value and care for them. Be grateful when others do the same for you. Work with care, and take at least five minute breaks at least every hour to walk around and focus on something else. These breaks actually will help increase your ability to work well, especially in times of stress. Some people find it helpful to set an hourly alarm for themselves. 

Mid-day and/or early evening, set aside time to talk with or share a meal with people you care about and who care about you. If they are far away, talk with them on the phone or video. 

Ending the Day

Create or recommit to a bedtime routine. Here are some practices you may find helpful:

• Limit screen usage at a certain time
• Use dim lighting at a certain time
• Read or listen to a book you enjoy
• Enjoy an herbal tea 
• Take a bath
• Use aromatherapy
• Say prayers
• Journal
• Meditate
• Practice breathing slowly
• Silence your phone

Creating or recommitting to a regular bedtime routine will help your body feel that it can rely, and relax, into a restful night. 

If you are an organizational leader or volunteer leader, you can be encouraging your staff or volunteers to be practicing healthful routines at home and throughout their work days. This can help to increase moral and productivity, and encourage an overall supportive culture. 

Talk therapy is important. But, as renowned traumatologist Peter Fonagy points out, it cannot be the only solution to resolving mass attacks or natural disaster events. Fonagy, along with increasingly more experts who study the long term effects of disaster on communities, advocates for cultivating "good relationships" within communities as a form of antibody against potential traumatic impacts from disaster. "If you have good relationships they actually help you assimilate that experience." 

What is the essence or character of the kind of "good relationships" that help you assimilate or metabolize adversity? Mainly, reliable care, expressed through language, physical touch, food, space, and ritual. The idiosyncratic displays of these expressions may change from community to community, infused by cultural norms. What determines whether the way they are expressed is "right," is whether the survivor perceives any of these expressions as caring. Which means, the caregiver also must continually observe and adapt as needed.

Who are the caregivers in a community? The ones providing "good relationships" to survivors? They may be family, teachers, neighbors, faith leaders, sport coaches, friends, coworkers, and fellow survivors. Each in their own way, without carrying the full burden of response solely on their own shoulders, contribute to a village of care for survivors.

​They help provide the stepping stones known to foster healing and restoration:

• Nourishing food
• Hydration
• A shoulder to cry on
• A listening ear
• Validation
• Hospitable space to rest, sleep, and meditate or pray
• Movement
• Creative expressions, through fine art, photography, music, dance, or theater
• Community storytelling
• Community or family memorial

Talk therapy is only one, of many, important practices that communities can offer survivors across the long-term trajectory of healing after disaster. Unfortunately, too many communities today are relying on talk therapy as the only way to solve mental health challenges in their community. They miss the caring resources which may exist right in their midst. We can all do more to remind ourselves and those around us of how healing is not only, and cannot only be, a professional task. Rather, it is a communal task, in which talk therapy is one of many proven resources for healing. 

What are some of the ways your community is resolving disaster, beyond only talk therapy? Share in the comments below.  

Second Responder is an emerging term which often refers to trained professionals or trained volunteers who provide various forms of mental, emotional, or spiritual care. Examples of second responder care may include, and is not limited to: 
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• Psychological First Aid
• Critical Incident debriefing, individually or among a group
• Peer counseling
• Talk therapy provided by a Psychologist, Marriage & Family Therapist, or Clinical Social Worker
• Bereavement counseling provided by a Psychologist, Marriage & Family Therapist, Clinical Social Worker, or Clergy person
• Art, music, or drama therapist
• Support group
• Pastoral counseling
• Chaplaincy
• Spiritual Direction
• Volunteers providing nourishing meals, hydration, safe places to sleep, childcare, or other forms of hospitality

This list, of course, does not exhaust the possibilities of care administered by second responders in response to critical incidents or disasters.

Following the critical role of first responders – including, law enforcement, firefighters, paramedics, and emergency room personnel – second responders provide a second and equally critical role in processes of healing after trauma. Second responders help survivors and those who experience vicarious traumatization of:
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• Who they are
• To whom they belong
• Their sense of place, or groundedness, in the world
• Their sense of safety, internally and externally
• Their ability to self-regulate
• Their ability to care for themselves
• Their ability to care for others
• Their sense of grief and mourning
• Their sense of hope
• Their sense of purpose or motivation

Second responders are keenly aware that this process of (re)membering after trauma comes slowly and not necessarily in a linear pattern, and they commit to companioning alongside survivors as they regain their healthy senses. 

Beginning with basic forms of hospitality and trustworthy companionship, and often through a Village of Care, second responders help survivors heal.

If you would like to learn more about how you or your organization can provide healthy forms of second responder outreach, contact us. 
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